bibliomancy for venus with saturn

"...earlier we considered the demonic feminine who must be appeased, as in the appearance of the rabid dog in the 'Font of the Knight of Treviso." Here, in this part of the alchemical text, we see her other face, the redemption bringer. Redemption comes experientially, when human and divine essences of being open to one another, and the cosmic heart of being penetrates between the mortal and divine spheres, and peace arrives..."

(Monica Wikman, Pregnant Darkness, Alchemy and the Rebirth of Consciousness, p 143)

bibliomancy for mars conjunct saturn in virgo

'weighting' d sinclair '06

"...'I'm not worth it', that lie lives in your mind because you believe it. You don't believe people who tell you how great you are, and you don't believe them because you believe the opposite. Your faith is already invested in a belief that is not the truth; its a lie, but your faith guides your actions... "

- Don Miguel Ruiz; The Voice of Knowledge, p 97

Bibliomancy for a scorpio full moon

'all things are as they should be' all rights reserved 08

"It is frightening to see how many people seek help for human expressions of aliveness, such as grief reactions to loss, overt expressions of anger, feelings of jealousy or frustration or stress. And it is especially frightening because I know that many therapists would give medication or even hospitalize these healthy people when an intensive period of attention and being listened to would accomplish much more." - Deldon Anne McNeely (Mercury Rising p.101)

bibliomancy for venus in aquarius

"The Cloudless Sky.

The sun is shining on you,
bright and clear
in a cloudless sky.
Everything is going as you wish."

(100 Poems of the Goddess, The Kuan Yin Oracle)

Well, this is more optimistic than I thought possible. I almost overlooked this transit on account of all the Saturn activity - teeth and bone and joint issues abound in my family and among friends, not to mention a general heaviness in myself.

Alright then, Saturn rules Aquarius, so it fits.

I've been contemplating what it means to 'build community' (one of Aquarius' rulerships) and the wider world. There's a strong pull towards whatever is 'out there' as opposed to hiding away here at home behind my computer screen.

As mentioned casually to a friend - and not for the first time lately - 'I've been living under a rock for far too long'.

Its a big rock and quite a burden, not to mention the kind of insect-life one attracts from under here. And having dropped my sense of humour somewhere in the dirty darkness I seem incapable of 'lightening up'.

Darn. I've heard of the 'wrong side of the tracks' but it looks like I'm on the wrong side of the rock.

I want to be on top.

So I ask you, what does it take? You're all 'out there' - am I missing anything? Is this idea of 'community' one of those ideas, like marriage and formal education that are theoretically sound but in general practice rather, er unsound? Is it a fantasy?

Oh, don't get me wrong - I'm not saying that marriage and education are fantasies, only that our stories around them can be detrimental to our mental health. (ok, MY mental health, I'm sure yours is fine)

So is 'community' another monotheistic model for lived experience that will bring me to grief - or am I looking for reasons to keep hauling like Atlas indefinitely?

There is an argument, quite a scientific one if you view Quantum Mechanics as science - that separation is an illusion. So we aren't individuals, however much our egos tell us we bloodywellare, and creating groups of individuals seems to me like creating kind of a communal ego. More separation, more fear and more trouble.

As a child it bothered me somewhat that there are such things as countries and nations and borders. We all live here on this one world together - part of it - we're all the same aren't we? I'd think to myself (yes I knew better than to say it outloud) that there was a Big Mistake.

My mother should have put me to bed instead of in the bouncy chair in front of the telly that day they walked on the moon - the day they showed us we're a living ball hanging in space.

Hm. Where was I going with this?

I'm really getting to the point of no return - separation is an illusion, as is the darn rock I keep referring to (but not the one we live on and are in fact a part of). There isn't anything 'out there' that isn't going on 'in here'.

All at once, actually, inside and out, in the large and little things that happen each day, each moment.

Time and space as we know them are changing - our linear model won't fit with our expanding world view and concurrent shrinking technology. We're learning to see beyond what we think is happening to what the other possibilites are.

Its too easy as people locked into our daily routines to fall deep into the Saturnine trap of 'not enough', that is, disconnection and immobilisation by the fear of scarcity, of inadequacy and failure. Turning away from another true state of things.

Sure, such a thing as scarcity does exist - limits exist, boundaries, form, borders and egos exist for real reasons - but the other truth is that we are limitless, we are all made of the same stuff and that the biggest thing and the smallest thing are exactly the same.

Its not one or the other, its both.

So there's no need for me to go anywhere to commune - if you are somewhere dancing, so am I. If you are somewhere making love, so are we all. I can sit right here at my desk, and lifetimes of experience and understanding are delivered to me instantly.

Of course, should I venture past my front door, unlock the gate, take myself out and actually have some fun I can only be doing the world some good - right?

That's no light-weight idea.

Revelations; bibliomancy for a new year

images copyright d sinclair 2007, from 'Negredo Journal'

"..we find the Senex in our solitary taking account, sorting through, figuring out; alone behind the wheel on the way to work; head under the shower, under the dryer; alone at the kitchen table looking down into black coffee, in bed staring into night - the Senex mind tying together the unraveled fringes of the day, making order...here is our melancholy trying to make knowledge, trying to see through, but the truth is that the melancholy is the knowledge; the poison is the antidote. This would be the Senex's most destructive insight; our Senex order rests on Senex madness. Our order is itself a madness.." (Hillman)

I'm going to come right out and say it, because I know of at least one person who'll ask me about this; yes, I have been a mad, lonely ol' bag of late, and this all makes perfect sense to me.

I believed that the Mercury archetype makes madness - the Trickster that sends us all a bit batty with ideas and stories and magic. I blamed my slippery-quick mind for soaking up ideas and confusing me - no besieging me - with constant dialogue and argument. I thought I had a brilliant but unruly child in me, who wants wants wants. So many questions, twice as many answers. Too much!

But lately came the revelation that its the Saturn/Senex part of the Senex/Puer syzygy that's the real pain-maker. Its the Big Daddy Ego that gives form to the spirited, tricky, mercurial wisps of thought. All the stories in the world cannot be real without the Saturnine 'fixing' of them.

What I mean is that its now apparent that its the threshold dweller; the terminating, opening-and-closing, border-guarding, ancient in me - Death itself, my own inner Reaper, that takes those thought-threads and makes them, holding them in. All thoughts are of no consequence until the Ego turns them to bones and stones and walls.

And so this is good news - because the message is finally getting through that this part of me is necessary and as loveable as any other. In a monotheistic conceptual universe I may be tempted to solar heroics and 'shining the light of consciousness' upon my Ego's bone-making, but instead I am going to love and honour all of it like I would my own mother.